Sam Winchester's recipe for a healthy afternoon snack on a hot day
by gwevyan
Summary: Sam and Dean, cooking-show style! Surprisingly not all that cracky. Taken from my new tumblr, SchoolofWinchester- Home of the Singer/Sam'n'Dean Cookbook, Winchester Health and Fitness Club, and Castiel's Social Skill and Circle Development Course. Check it out! (seriously, because it's way better with gifs and pictures.)


Sam: Hey guys! Well, when it's hot out and we need a snack on the road, we usually stop and get sodas or popsicles or ice cream cones or something. But when we're stopped, it's nice to make something a little more healthy. Here's an icy-cold treat that's just as satisfying as an ice cream sundae, but with less calories and more vitamins!

Dean: It's not as satisfying. _It's not._

Sam: Shut up, Dean. Now, first you-

Dean: Don't delude the poor people into thinking they're getting ice cream sundaes when they're getting something off the breakfast menu at a health club.

Sam: If you think they're so gross, why do you always steal some when I make them, huh?

Dean: …I'm just taste-testing your food like a good older brother.

Sam: You never taste-test my salads.

Dean: I don't _need_ to taste-test your salads. Who the hell would poison salad?

Sam: Whatever, dude. Okay. First, you get a cup or bowl or mug or whatever's handy. Here's mine.

/picture on tumblr SchoolofWinchester/

Dean: Dude, I think they know what a _cup_ looks like.

Sam: Shut up. Next, you put some plain or fruit-flavored low-fat yogurt in your cup.

/picture on tumblr SchoolofWinchester/

Sam: I'm using peach this time because I wanted strawberry but Dean refuses to buy anything pink, even yogurt.

Dean: Damn straight.

Sam: I keep telling you, Dean, the more you over-compensate the more obvious it gets. Pink strawberry yogurt is perfectly okay to eat if you're a really masculine man. Like me.

Dean: Hey! I'm the one who-

Sam: Next, get some frozen berries. I found a cool container of frozen strawberry slices that'll be perfect for this…except that I can't peel the plastic top off.

Dean: Hah! What were you saying there, macho man?

Sam: Uh, real men use knives anyway?

Dean: What, even when making fruity yogurt?

Sam: Sure.

/picture on tumblr SchoolofWinchester/

Sam: Now, put a few spoonfuls of your frozen fruit on top of your yogurt…oh.

Dean: What now?

Sam: It's all…frozen.

Dean: Yeah, Sammy, that's what happens when you buy things out of the freezer aisle.

Sam: No, I mean, it's all one big solid mass. I can't scoop it up.

Dean: Huh?

/picture on tumblr SchoolofWinchester/

Dean: Oh, for-

Sam: Okay, next step is to send your very awesome and considerate big brother out to the nearest grocery store to get a normal bag of frozen fruit pieces.

Dean: What? Hell no. This is your show, Julia, you go get it.

Sam: Uh…send your awesome and considerate big brother out to the nearest grocery store, after promising to do all his laundry for a month?

Dean: …Fine. But you're paying for some m&ms, too.

Sam: Now that Dean's gone, I can point out that he only _does_ his laundry once a month, and we only ran it a week ago, so he's got three weeks to forget all about me promising I'd do it. And the m&ms don't matter because by tomorrow he'll feel so guilty about stealing my money to buy them that he'll buy me a giant latte. So. You know. That's our tough guy. Anyway, when you finally get the right kind of frozen fruit, put some on your yogurt.

/picture on tumblr SchoolofWinchester/

Dean: You're not even gonna stir it in?

Sam: Of course not.

Dean: Why?

Sam: It looks nicer in layers. You have to think about presentation.

Dean: That's just stupid. You're gonna end up stirring it up to eat it anyway.

Sam: You're just stupid.

Dean: Oooh, burn.

Sam: Now, pour some chocolate sauce on top. Or you could use caramel sauce or jelly or something. Whatever you want, really.

/picture on tumblr SchoolofWinchester/

Sam: What, no wisecracks?

Dean: Hey, the chocolate sauce is the best part about this whole thing.

Sam: Not quite, because next you squirt on some whipped cream.

/picture on tumblr SchoolofWinchester/

Dean: You call that _some_?

Sam: I like whipped cream, okay? Besides, this cup is small.

Dean: Sure, princess.

Sam: Seriously, Dean, just go away. Anyway, now you're done! Have a big, cold, delicious bite.

/picture on tumblr SchoolofWinchester/

Sam: Hey!

Dean: What? You said to have a bite.

Sam: But that one was for me! This cup's mine!

Dean: Nuh-uh. Definitely tasted something suspicious in that bite, I'm gonna have to check and make sure the rest of it is safe.

Sam: You're just eating it all!

Dean: Snooze you lose, Sam.

Sam: I didn't snooze, you stole it from me!

Dean: It's a hard, hard world, Sammy. I'm just looking out for you.

Sam: But-

Dean: You're right, that cup is small. Go make me another one, bitch.

Sam: Jerk!


End file.
